Dear Chase,
Listen, son. I love you dearly, but for goodness sakes, can you please stay in the nursery? I know you don't think it's the greatest place in the world, but every other kid goes in there without throwing the massive fit that you throw. It's been 4 months now, and you've spent a grand total of 40 minutes in there by yourself. If you stay in the nursery, I promise not to bring up your behavior in Sacrament Meeting. We'll just keep that between us (and the rest of the ward).
Dear Halle,
Just because you have a small scratch does not mean that you have to apply 7 band-aids to keep from bleeding to death.
Dear Sam,
Next time you go on a totally awesome trip, and you are buying souvenirs for the kids, please don't forget your wife. The shampoo from the hotel doesn't count. I'm just sayin'.
Dear BYU,
Anytime you want to start winning is fine with me.
Dear Diet Coke,
I know I'm pregnant, and I probably shouldn't drink you as much as I do, but thank you for helping me get through my day. I don't know if I'd make it to lunchtime without you. Smooches!
Dear Economy,
If you'd like to improve, I'm sure we'd all appreciate it. A little extra $$$ never hurt anybody.
Dear Costco,
Thank you for existing. I love our little family trips to visit you every week. And, I love your return policy. But one quick question. How come every time I try your taste test, I totally need the item, but when I get home and I have enough fried rice to feed 65 people, I'm wondering what tasted so good about it in the first place? Are you drugging me?
